Wow..not only have I not posted in a while, but what I posted for 'future plans' was completely changed, lol. Its a little sad and bittersweet. Of course I did not plan on my life/relationships/etc turning out this way, but it's just a step in the road. Makes me not want to make so many promises to my 'fans' for the future....cuz I know I have so many, lol.
No matter what has happened to me in life I always feel like there is a bigger plan than what I can imagine...and there is. It happens for a reason, to help me grow, to help another grow, its harder to see the good when you feel surrounded by bad, but I find in life I find the bad less and less detrimental to how I feel I am as a person. Maybe a relationship didn't work out....but I gave it my all. Was it my fault? Sure some parts probably. Will I find love again? Yes I will! Do I deserve someone that can be my true 'soulmate?' Yes!!! And if I haven't met him yet, I will find him one day. I know I will...and I will no longer hate the process, or the parts where I am alone. It is time for growth so I can grow and be more me so that when I find him, I will also be what he is looking for (because I'm that awesome). Can I be happy in the process? I am learning!!! :) Hehe.
I joke but I'm also dead serious in what I've learned over the past 8-10 years. I can't even describe it well, and I get a little overwhelmed when I think about it. I'm not where I want to be (WHO IS???) but I don't even recognize who I was back then. Funny how that is. I've been through lots of joy and pain and I'm grateful for it all. I'm more forgiving of other's faults and things done against me, especially from the past. One part of me that is returning and transforming me is my positive perspective. I still struggle sometimes but I try to make a choice every morning to be more than I was the day before. You can do so much if you proactively think that each morning.
So I guess my message is this: Allow yourself to feel the pain, but also allow yourself to feel that no matter what you deserve the best. Because you are awesome....even if you have flaws...they just make you, you. Embrace yourself.
Self-love
-Jan
P.S. I now have two little angels: Kira and Ella. I got Ella a few weeks ago from Lafayette, La. She's a 5 pound supposed schnoodle (poodle/schnauzer mix). They are awesome together and I finally have that small dog I've been searching for a long time.
0 comments:
Post a Comment