Oh, that's shiny....and LOOK, a distraction!

If you're reading this in email form, I suggest you also look it up online.  I've posted some pics and I don't think they are sent in emails.



Anyways......
This past weekend was pretty darn fun.  And I admit, I really needed it.

Saturday Jen and I went to the Renaissance Festival. We had a blast.  I wore my elf ears and a red skirt.  We ate tons of food and walked around lots.  We had many pit stops since someone gets tired easily now ;)  We saw a jousting match and had 3 glasses of their Cream Ale (cream soda).  But I think we both agree that the smoked turkey leg MADE the day, lol.  We were on our way home when we decided to get another refill of Cream Ale and share the turkey leg.  Needless to say we were disappointed when it was gone. We had such a good time, now we have dad convinced that he wants to go too.  So next weekend, after Jen's baby shower...me, dad, Jillie and Lollie will be going...yay!

Saturday night I stayed at Lorraine's.  Sunday for lunch we ate at Sakura's...sushi, yum. Then we made our way to the children's museum. Lollie's Minnie Mouse B-Day party was there! We had a good time, watched the kids play (big and little, lol), and had a parade with Lollie as the lead bringing us to the party room across the street. She only got a 10 minute nap all day, but became hyper when she got to her party.  She must have climbed up and went down the slide a million times.  By the time we had the parade to get cake and open presents, she was getting tired. I think her favorite present was a sleeping bag/blanket from her mommy and daddy.  She instantly curled up with it on top of the table, and drug it around with her until we left to go home. I got some really cute pictures of her and Jillie at the party.  I have the most beautiful nieces....and yes, I'm biased....but it's still true! ;)

The Birthday Girl!

Minnie Mouse B-Day Cake

The start of the Lollie B-Day parade!

LOVED the doll she got! Look at that beautiful girl!

Hehe, love the face

Inspecting the present the museum gave her. Can you say eyelashes???

Jillie, the rock climber

Isn't she just too cute

Have a good week....it's only Monday. Time to work on Jen's baby shower present. :)

I've been thinking a lot about my life lately. I've been re-examining everything.  The past year or so has been big for me.  ....now that I think about it, I really need to update my 'goal/bucket list.' Anyways, I feel like a teenager who is looking at their life again, and what they want out of it.  And in many ways I am. 

I am divorced. Anyone in that situation has issues to work out. What you did wrong, what you did right, what the other person did wrong (and right, don't forget that.  No-one is all bad).  Then you try the what-if game. What-if I was more assertive, what if I was prettier, what if I had paid attention to the HUGE signs, what if I had not settled? I can go on and on. It's a battle you can never win. But of course we play anyways. And while the person who leaves usually does most of this before leaving, things still find ways to creep up and make you wonder.

Here are some updates of me and some of my thoughts:

• I am the strongest I've ever been. No, not physically (although I'm working on it), but mentally. If someone is mean to me I can walk away, or say something back...this is huge for me!  Also, just telling someone the truth...though it may hurt them.  Sometimes the person who teaches you how to be a better you is the one you have to hurt. I never want to see anyone hurt, but it is so freeing to be able to say what I feel.
• At the same time I feel very fragile and unsure about some things...but that's life. I am still healing from the pains of past relationships and of the pains of life......life is tough GET A HELMET, and don't get hit so much! Learn form it! Lol....trying. 
• Along with that, I am more independent....   and loving it. I have a job, income, and I do what I want in my free time....I've never experienced this before and it's just...awesome.
• I am homesick...I've been feeling it the past few weeks, but it finally became a conscious thought.  Even though I am so much closer to my family now, I want to be closer than 1.5 hours away. To be able to go to a fair with them one evening.  Or pick up my nieces and go get ice-cream.....I want to be close. Of course, I love me time....but I want the option to see them when I want.
• This week I started working out a bit again. I a playing a dancing game on my Kinect for about 30-45 minutes each day....so I am calling it Dancing out!  No, I will never do this in public...but it's fun, and Kira doesn't judge. ;)
• Which brings me to karate.  It used to be such a big part of my life.  Gave me confidence, a better body (yay), and an outlet for when I was stressed.  I have really begun to miss that.  And though the dancing out is fun, I think it's time for me to look for someplace locally to work out...and let's face it, I need a social outlet other than work!
• Financial responsibility!?!!  I am learning a crash course in it now that I'm not completely broke...and I've learned its harder than being broke! With extra money, I tend to spend, spend, spend...I have to keep that under control.
• I am furthering my career. I am learning the ropes and become more confident in my abilities. I am getting some appreciation from other colleagues (yay for respect)....and I'm feeling more comfortable in my SLP 'skin.'

So yeah......I'm sure there's more but my brain is tired from thinking and I have a few more  hours of work to do for this job where I'm overworked, but love it at the same time...

-Jan